Calling out all LSU fans!

I can’t believe I’m devoting this week’s column to this subject,but it’s been annoying me since I heard about this on WAFB on Tuesday. Then last night I’m on Facebook and two of my friends - Paul from Bentonville, Arkansas and Raul from San Antonio, Texas - who had heard the story on ESPN (how embarrassing) were giving it to me pretty good. 

You see Paul and Raul (pronounced RA-OOL) are Texas Longhorn fans. Both of them love the Dallas Cowboys. And we all love to talk trash about each other’s football teams. So, in so far as football is concerned, I’ve kind of owned them for over 15 years. LSU -  two national titles, one national runner-up, and several top-10 finishes. The Saints - one Super Bowl title, two division titles, four playoff appearances and one Drew Brees. 

Now there was 2005 when the Longhorns, on the strength of a herculian performance by Vince Young, won it all. But Young was gone the next year and they haven’t done much ever since. That was the only football season that I really had to bite my tongue. Several times I’ve tried to run my mouth a bit during basketball season but I have to admit that Raul’s beloved Spurs have shut me up on more than one occasion. 

Yeah, I miss working with those guys. We used to travel around the southwest part of the country, building Home Depots and staying in the same hotels, so there was no getting away from each other’s guff. And now with Facebook, we can still give it to each other on a daily basis even though we live in three different towns. 

And nothing is off limits. 

If Drew Brees were to get arrested with crack cocaine and woman of questionable character, they would probably get into a fight to determine who would be the first to let me hear about it.  

So with that backdrop you can only imagine how embarrassed I’ve been this week. As all LSU fans know, Tiger Stadium has undergone renovations which will allow one of college footballs most hallowed grounds to seat over 100,000 fans. And now we just can’t seem to sell enough tickets to fill the seats. 

I remember earlier this year when I was trying to decide whether to keep my season tickets. The price had gone up (again) and I’ve been making a concerted effort to save more money. Also, at least at the time I was considering it, I was thinking that maybe I’m getting older and watching the games from the comfort of my sofa isn’t to bad. 

Then I was hit with a quick reality check. 

"Too old,” I thought to myself. “I’m still breathing ain’t I?”

I also remembered all the great times I’ve had a Tiger Stadium and even the little things I enjoy. Being stuck in traffic following a victory and not caring because I’m listening to the post-game show on 98.1. Watching Shaq (who I always thought would have made a great tight end) firing up the student section. High-fiving complete strangers following a touchdown. 

Yeah, I’m willing to suffer a few late notices from Crowley’s utility companies to keep that rolling. 

However, now LSU fans are spoiled. 

If we aren’t mowing over opponents, like we did in 2003, 2007 and 2011, getting up and driving through traffic just isn’t worth our while. And can someone please tell me when Cajuns became so sensitive to weather? If I hear one more of these people - who brag that they would be able to live off the land if there were ever a nuclear disaster - complain that it’s too hot, too cold or too wet I think I’m going to be sick.

One particular group of people that I’d like to call out are all those tailgaters we know and love who bring their television sets and recreational vehicles to every home game. A buddy of mine (who shall remain nameless because we stay at his RV before every game) is among this group of people. He hasn’t been inside the stadium in several years. However, he driven to Tiger Stadium for every home game over the past several years and watches the game on a big screen TV that he sets up outside his RV along with a buffet of wonderful food and a variety of adult beverages. 

I’ve seen several people selling tickets approach him and his buddies, who likewise have their own RVs and TV sets. 

They always decline. 

I always thought the RVs were for the comfort of enjoying tailgating during the hours leading up to and immediately following the game. The TVs are for watching other games prior to LSU kicking off. It’s almost a slap in the face to have 20,000 people watching the game in a camper parked immediately outside Tiger Stadium while there are 20,000 empty seats inside. 

Are we football fans or dinner hosts? Can we pull ourselves away from the gumbo and beer (yeah, I know that part’s hard) for a mere three hours to cheer on our boys? 

It’s time to man up. 

We have thousands of LSU haters (like Raul and Paul) around the country who are looking for any reason to heap verbal abuse on us for any reason they can find. And even though I didn’t let them him know it last night, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that Raul laughing at how “we can’t fill our own stadium” hit me where it hurts. 

It’s bad enough when our team does something to make me hear it from these guys, now I have to hear him giving it to our fans? The fans who consider themselves to be the most loyal and die hard fans in the country? The same fans who created our own earthquake are now complaining about the weather? Really?

If we’ve never had anything else in Louisiana, we’ve always been able to brag about that. We’re the guys who covered the field with oranges in 1982 and in 1972 we actually slowed down time. 

And now we have problems selling tickets? 

If nothing else guys, do this to save me from spending some time in prison. Because the first time I hear Raul tell me “I think we have more people at Spurs games,” I’m arming myself and driving west. 

Until next week.    

Howell Dennis is a native of Lafayette, La. He attended the University of Texas at Arlington where he graduated in journalism and public relations.